Use every experience to propel you forward
by John Assaraf | posted on July 8th, 2008 | Mindset for Success
Creating the life of your dreams requires you be totally honest with yourself so you can move forward in your life.
Everyone has made mistakes. Everyone. And all of us have areas in life where we know we are not as strong as we’d like to be. We all know that no one is perfect, but we still may beat ourselves up over these perceived weaknesses.
We can obsess about choices we’ve made that turned out to be “bad,” and we can bemoan our shortcomings, but this will hold us back. What we need to do is acknowledge them, come up with a strategy for managing them, then MOVE ON.
What if, instead of beating yourself up about the bad choices you have made in the past, you focused on what that mistake taught you? If you looked at every error in judgment as a learning experience, you would feel so much better about yourself and your past actions. You could say, “OK, I learned something valuable from that mistake, and I know not to make this same choice again.” And, most importantly, you
would be able to move on with your life and not dwell on the past anymore.
If you are always looking backward at your past, you cannot look forward to your future.
Consider your own life: Have there been relationships that ended? Business that went belly up? Or other, ongoing challenges, such as not producing enough cash flow to cover expenses? Not making your family a priority?
Examine these situations and consider what they have to teach you: what changes you should make in your life, what strategies you should adopt, what you should delegate, what you should just let go?
Imagine a person who can never remember where he put his keys. Sometimes they’re in the office, sometimes on the coat rack, sometimes in his pocket. This person is constantly looking for
them and holding you up. After a while, you might get pretty frustrated with him. Perhaps you would even say, “Look, you’re really irritating everyone around you. Pick a spot where you will always put your keys-put a hook on the wall or something — and always hang them there, OK?”
Because you were being affected by the person’s forgetfulness, it was easy for you to identify the problem and come up with a quick solution. What if you could get a little distance from your own foibles? Would that give you a new perspective that would empower you to find solutions?
The new you, the one who has learned so much by experience, can now look honestly in the mirror. You can look at your past without being held hostage by your mistakes or any patterns of behavior you might have. You are in the process of finding your “True North,” so you can make a new path toward the life of
your dreams.
To do that, you need to look very hard at yourself and see what areas you need to improve.
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July 8th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
John,
Thank You…That is so awesome…I’ve adopted the philosophy that “There is always a good reason why everything happens.” Its helped me a lot keeping the right mindset..Am also reading “The Answer” It is one of the best business books I’ve read..and can truly adopt to my business life. Thank You Sooo Much!
July 17th, 2008 at 3:47 am
One thing I do that I find helpful when learning from my mistakes is to write them down - kind of like an analysis report to myself. Write out the situation as objectively as possible, what went wrong, how I reacted and why (to understand my motivation), what I learned from the experience and what I should have done (so I’m prepared in case a similar situation comes up). This way, I stop myself from thinking about all the rotten things that happened and focus on the lessons learned and the actionable steps to move forward. Also, I keep this to one page so it doesn’t turn into a project itself!
July 17th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
I have always been thanked for giving great advice. With a smile, I would respond “Now wouldn’t it be great if I could follow my own advice?”
So what resonated with me the most is having the ability to step outside of yourself and look in.
I would like to add, there is no value in being flawless. It’s a miserable fate to be flawless. Mistakes are means to growth. If we never made mistakes, we in turn could never realize our potential to become exceptional.
Don’t fear falling short in the future. It will provide the opportunity to propel yourself unimaginable heights.